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If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong though. It's Hambone.
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 If you're ever shipwrecked on a tropical island and you don't know how to speak the natives' language, just say "Poppy-oomy." I bet it means something.
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 Instead of mousetraps, what about baby traps? Not to harm the babies, but just to hold them down until they can be removed?
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 When Gary told me he had found Jesus, I thought, Yahoo! We're rich! But it turned out to be something different
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 If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw you into a panic.
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 Whether they find a life there or not, I think Jupiter should be called an enemy planet.
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 I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.
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 It's true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets its wings. But what they don't tell you is that every time you hear a mouse trap snap, and Angel gets set on fire.
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